The Things We Do For Love
This post comes on the behest of some very dear friends…who have seen the many shades of love….most of whom no longer trust or believe in it anymore !
Love the purest & most sacred of all emotions, has grossly been misinterpreted & misunderstood since time immemorial.
Easiest is its path to walk, yet glorified are the scarifies made.
No demands does it have, no expectations does it lay,
Yet it is immortalized by the bondage of all.
It dissolves into the most selfless form
By giving into every selfish desire…
But who has understood the meaning of such selfishness
And who has made a cage of all that is selfless.
Such is the mystery, such is the magic
Such is the malady of true love !
Through my limited vision & grape wine knowledge listed are some of the things most people do in the name of love:
• Blow out one’s existence, just to exist for the other significant person who has just about entered their life.
Clueless Wanderer: Very Chivalrous…but what kind of person would exist for another, when he cannot even exist for himself.
• Ignore all flaws, accepting the partner for who he/she is.
Clueless Wanderer: Wouldn’t the knowledge of ignoring flaws, be indicative of flaws in the other person, which means the existence of a flawed vision within you.
• Giving up family & friends, just to be with your so called ‘better half’.
Clueless Wanderer: What kind of ‘better half’ would that be, that draws you away from those once closest to you.
• Work terribly hard, so that you can be a great provider to your mate.
Clueless Wanderer: But what have you provided yourself with in the long run…I really wonder?
• Give up quite a few things that your partner does not like about you, so that s/he is happy.
Clueless Wanderer: …but how long will you be happy with it all ?
Most people have hidden well
From the one they intend to dwell
The people & things that once touched their heart
So that the one you claim to love has happiness heaped in a shopping cart.
The irony of luv, is plain to see
For we hide & shun those closest to us
To live a life of peaceful façade…A charade for all to see
—while dying all the time is the true Me.
Scorned are mirrors & reflections of me
For words have broken more than a leaf on a tree
Could they be glued & set right once more?
Could life be breath into to lifeless door…
Could miracles be performed & all wounds be healed
Would I be able to bring back those…
Who never left me … even though with others I chose to be?
No time no space exist anymore
Lost is true love in the sea of ego
What mattered most is now hidden deep
Never to be found by any living being !
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From the Kingdom of Wiseldom - A seeker of the truth, a follower of the Path...Lost in a trance, doing a merry dance... The Wiseldress, wanders hither & thither into your Heart!
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- Wiseldress
- Bangalore, Karnataka, India
- A seeker on the path, I have wandered far & wide. The time has come for me at last To tell the world that I have arrived !
34 comments:
Noor honey,
excellent thinking! I was going to review a book on my blog called 'Love sick' written by a psychotherapist who describes as a negative emotion. So your post is sort of topical for me.
Love
Sanjana
oh and I was telling this friend the other day about how useless it was to fall in love and go through the entire repertoire of nonsense that lovers go through. This is the message he sent me:
"Gam ke is andhere jeevan mein koyi diye se roshni nahi milti,
ek bar firse pyar karle mere dost, ye zindagi bar bar nahi milti"
Nor sure where he got this from, but though I'd share it with you.
Hugs
S
Saba,
Very deep piece. And I am in agreement with most of it.
Viewed from another way, it seems people seek Love outside of themselves, and almost see love as approval from who they consider the "significan other"Thats a path of not only deep pain to oneself and the ones who are closest to you, but also one of betrayal.
When the innermost being is forgotten and compromised, the level of love is merely at the level of masks/personality. And that IMO is not love. This is lust, this is insecurity, this is about control.
To love another, a prerequsite is to love oneself first, for one who is not in love with ones own existance and beauty will fail to see it another, much less appriciate the differences. This is where projection starts, and we seek to control/manupilate the outside, when its excatly the opposite direction we need to dwell in.
What makes me really sad, and sometimes downright angry is the so called "greying of the sexes." There seems to be a movement to make men and women alike (again am not talking about heirachy, am talkign about how they interact/behave/move about in the world). I know this comment will not be popular, but this is what I see. This greying of the sexes is downright dangerous. We now have men going to sensitivity training and women into assertiveness training. Nothing wrong in it by itself, but look at the bigger picture, they do this before exploring and embracing thier own sense of being. Men trying to be feminine and women trying to be masculine, this before exploring ones own masculinity and feminity. I believe the answer is not making each like the other but in celebratig the differences, not greying of the differences. When one embraces thier own sense of being, love happens, and it happens at your own level - meaning you will find someone who also mirrors the same level of consciousness.
I assert that before one learns to love another, one needs to love ones own deep sense of being, to go into the depth of their masculinity and their femininty. Until they dont touch thier own core, they will always seek outside what they have not experinced inside. This reslts in all the "mishaps of love" and a loss of sense of being.
So perhaps my view on this is that, poeple have lost a sense of self in this postmodern world. They have lost a sense of thier own being and dont celebrate their differences. I am not suggesting that life under patriachy was right, or one must have a dominant role over the other, but to the contrary, I am suggesting that love can only happen between eqauals, where they "choose to be with the other" while honoring everything else they are commited to in life.
All the bullet points you have marked in bold are clearly the symptons of not being "in love with ones own being" and to me also represent the "taming of one mate by another" as opposed to "being alive/wild together"
oh well, I will end this rant now ....
Be abundant in thy own being
Love will only follow thee then
When from thyself thee stop fleeing
Love will be thy natural state - Amen
M
Hey Sanj...who will know best why i put that post out other than u.
Am waiting eagerly for ur review on 'Love Sick'....have heard so much about it.
U know well i don’t believe in the concept of love, the way most people refer to it...for me everything is about oneness at every stage, at every step...and that is what i seek in those closest to me...unity of heart, mind & spirit...that is my perception of love!
Noor honey,
I'm also waiting for the review-hahahaha
Am soooooo lazy when it comes to writing (actually when it comes to anything these days)
Have spent the last couple of hours browsing through nothing particularly interesting on the net, when I could have been writing this review.
Oh well, there's always tomorrow-lol
Hope you had a successful trip. Will see you tomorrow, actually today!
lots of love
sanjana
Mahi...u have voiced my inner most thoughts...This is exactly what i too was trying to say.
Everyone is so lost in pseudo luv, that the true meaning & essence of it is lost.
As u rightly said one will never know what true love is until he learns to love himself in entirety.
Am also glad u brought the topic of 'greying of the sexes', v relevant & totally agree with u.
Mahi u said 'that love can only happen between equals'...tell me who decides who is equal & who is not ?
When & how do u know that the person is ur equal?
U will have to elaborate on this a l'll more, 'cauz i have my own bizzare theories on this & just want to see if i am the only freak around or do i have company? :)
Noor,
Are you still awake?
Gosh! you have some capacity to philosophise. At this time of the night I am hardly able to talk gibberish with my dog-gandi, and there you are being so profound and all???
ps: dont agree with greying of sexes stuff, but too sleepy now to elaborate
I too am begining to luv Gandhi...will discuss about greying of sexes later in the day.
Luv
N
Am also glad u brought the topic of 'greying of the sexes', v relevant & totally agree with u.
ITS GOOD TO SEE SOMEONE AGREE, USUALLY GET A LOT OF REBUFF ON THIS. GOOD TO SEE THAT SOMEONE ON PLANET EARTH SEES WHAT I AM SAYING :)
Mahi u said 'that love can only happen between equals'...tell me who decides who is equal & who is not ?
When & how do u know that the person is ur equal?
THE WAY I SEE IT, IS THAT IT IS BEST REPRESENTED BY NO-DEMANDS, AND ACCEPTING OF WHAT IS..AND NO ATTEMPT TO IMPOSE ONE SET OF WORLDVIEW ON THE OTHER AND NO TAMING
HOW WILL YOU KNOW - HMM THAT DEPENDS ON EACH PERSON, FOR THAT IS SUCH A SUBJECTIVE JUDGEMENT, THERE ARE ATLEAST 4 DIFFERENT WAYS PEOPLE MAKE SENSE OF WHAT THEY KNOW (EPISTOMOLOGY) AND DEPENDING ON THIER LIFE CONDITIONS AND WORLDVIEWS I CAN STATE ATLEAST ANOTHER 8, SO AT THE LEAST THERE COULD BE 32 DISTINT WAYS OF KNOWING IMO.
HAHA PERHAPS U HAVE GIVEN ME AN IDEA TO WRITE A BOOK...
SANJU - I AM CURIOUS WHY YOU DONT AGREE, I AM CURIOUS TO SEE YOUR POINT OF VIEW.
HAVE A LOVEY EVENING LADIES
M
Love as sickness, eh!!! This is a newone, now I am waiting for the review...
I never ever thought of Love as a sickness, so this should be an interesting read, will one of you pls write up about it please
Noor munchkin,
the dog's name is 'gandi' not 'Gandhi'. I don't like Gandhi, so wouldn't give the same name to my dog.
Gandi means dirty in Hindi, its not to offend her, its more a term of endearment-haha now would she agree if she knew??
love
s
see you in a bit
Hahaha...i think everyone in our group hates Gandhi, poor guy!
Sanj u have lost it...All said & done, i luv Gandi...and for the life of me I cannot understand Y u chose that name for her.
Btw, U were also supposed to write an article on Gandi...what happened to that?
Sugar, u r getting into the cycle of 'acquired laziness' .... if we leave u in ur current state for some more time...u will turn out to be become just like me...There will be no hope for u. Besides the world is not yet ready to handle two of me ;)
Hi Sub,
I know ur gonna hate me for not commenting on your blog, but u know me, Maaf Karna !
But see I am commenting now to make up, besides I knew that if I didn’t stop by and say something especially on this post, I am as good as dead.
Maine aakhir aisa kya kar diya ki meri sari kahani aapne internet pe dal di…U might as well have mentioned the names when you wrote this article. Anyway the gang would have guessed by now from where it came.
Par aap ko daat deni padegi, very well written, I loved it & thoroughly enjoyed it.
Keep it up l’ll one :)
Let me sign off in your style by saying Luv Always
R
PS: btw, what got you to start blogging once more, am curious to know ?
PPS: Sanju checked your blog too, was pleasantly surprised. When did Gandi come into the picture and what happened to Laser?
Sub & Sanju lets catch up sometime have loads to tell.
Hey!!!!!!!
Look who's got into blogging?!
Noor, congrats, mission accomplished!
I suppose you know Gandi by another name. We used to call her 'Laser's girlfriend' because she followed laser into the house. Laser died a while ago. He had an aggressive temperament and he got into a fight with some other street dogs. We didn't want to keep reminding Gandi of Laser, so we changed her name.
I know we are a bizarre family, but you've known that for a while ;)
Good to touch base again.
Sanjana
Greying of sexes.
So why don't I agree with people who think this is a bad idea?
My reasoning is that only because of this phenomena women are more empowered, achieving more and getting what they rightfully deserve from men, i.e, empathy, sensitivity, understanding, help around the house etc etc.
It is because our notion of gender is no longer black and white that men realise it is ok to cry, it is ok to be care oriented etc etc.
I think we are all emotionally androgenous and so we need to puruse our masculine side (as women) and our feminine side (as men) whilst exploring our 'actual sex'.
I am not a feminist. I am quite traditional in some senses, in that, I think its alright for men and women to specialise in roles they are best suited for. I'd rather sit at home and cook, than go out to chop firewood. But at the same time, I think greying of sexes is not a bad thing.
oh and i'll write the book review tomorrow-lol. am getting really good ideas as i procrastinate. my supervisor at cambridge used to say 'best projects result from maximum time taken while planning' and i'm still planning-hahahaha
Sanju,
Thanks for explaining your stance and I will say this " women dont need anything from men"
Nor should men bend over to be evrything that a woman expect them to be. Likewise a woman should not surrender her being in order to fit into another world "tamed"
I agree there are compromises one makes when in a "relationship" but these compromises should not at the level of compromising ones sense of self and ones sense of being.
feminism - hmm, well my biggest issue with it is that they from my perspective (very California baised view) is that they are at war with men, as though to take from them something they need. I attest , if they win, as I see them winning, is that one gender rules the other, just a reversal...when will the cycle end?
anyways, enough controversy for one night
much love and regards
M
I made it clear that I am not a feminist.
I am not talking about compromising. I am talking about empathy which emerged only when you explore different dimensions to yourself.
I don't agree with your reply, but that's fine, we don't need to have identical views.
Sanjana
noor sweets,
am heading to bed now. got accustomed to 15 hours of sleep everyday and there is no way i'll be able to wake up at 6:30 to meet u at 7:40 if i dont hit the sack now.
sweet dreams
Hey, Look who has decided to make an appearance..As Sanj said Mission Accomplished.
Finally got ur attention...but ur not forgiven for not commenting!
So my wandering Bedouin Friend...what r u up?
And how on earth do we meet when u r wandering the jungles of Africa or is it some place else now?
As far as blogging is concerned...u'll get answers only when we meet up !
Just b'coz u don’t have a sign off style, that does not give u the liberty to make fun of mine:)
Luv Always,
S
noor,
so much for sleeping early. had a bit of a panic attack. my parents couldnt find lizzie and becky at the station, so i was making calls to my supervisor to get his daughter's whereabouts. luckily, they've all found each other now and being taken to their hotel. and i can finally get some sleep!
Sanju
Aha, empathy - I love that word. And am glad you bought it up.
SO the answer is who gains empathy, it presumes the "I" knows itself, before it can relate to and empathize with the other.
Again, empathy is only possible when I is known, and this means the deep masuclinity and feminity in oneself, before the other can be epxlored.
I dont think the answer is in fmasculine or femisit views, its about holding the tension of the opposites before the 3rd quality arises. you could call this empathy or beyond. However this is possible only when the two extremes are held together, not in them being greyed out.
Maybe I am wrong or NOT, but this is my current thinking/feeling/being
as always, best regards
M
Ok. Point noted. Thanks for the debate.
Sanjana
Hey Noor! How are you? I have actually been meaning to talk to you for sometime now, I was held up with some work & stuff. You have a nice blog! The post titled "The things we do for love" is damn good. It is absolutely practical. I have just started to appreciate poetry so you will have to forgive my ignorance of the beautiful poetry that you keep writing.
Hi Ashvin...am doing gr8...Looks like Amruth is keeping u v busy. Good for u !
Many Thnx for ur comment.
If u really want to read some v kool poems, check out these poems on mahi's blog.... Poetry - The Quest, Dil Khuda Ka Ek Hissa & Shabd - Zaher Aur Amrut...brilliantly written & straight from the heart !
I see u have changed ur blog completely to 'Ash the Rambler'...what ever happened to 'Ash the Tech'?
Noor,
Please do me a favour and stop recommending 'where r u going' by swami whateva to people!
Thanks
Sanj
Sanj Honey...swami whatever has written a pretty good book...Its worth a read.
Yes he might have many scandals attached to his name, but why deprive urself of the joy of reading something different and intersting. Why do u have to punish urself, what did u do wrong? Each person is accountable for his / her deeds...lets not be so judgemental about others !
Love Always,
Saba
Saba
Tehe duniya ko maat bata mere shabd
in mein mere dil ka haal hota hai zahir
Kuch to daar jayenge, aur kuch samaj ke bhi muud jayenge
yeh dil aur khuda ki daastane
theek sirf hai dewaano ke liye
M
Paar thanks for the kind words
hey where is that sufi piece u were supposed to put up.....
Mahi...ur so dead.
The Sufi article will cum to u wen u need it & wen i am ready to share it...Until then patience my friend !
BTW, u better put up something new on ur blog...Looking forward to ur v 'Evolved' perspective on life...hahaha.
Also plss update ur political Blog...Last post was on April 20th
evolved persective on life????? hahahaha very funny - I guess I have to thank a certain somebody and her sister for it ha!
most poeple talk of evolution as leaving the mind/body behind and entering the witness state,
while I am suggetsing the opposite and enetering the body more fully and experincing being though it
so technically its not evolution but regression
think about it ;)
M
PS as per patience, there is no such thing as patience, for again patience is a function of time, and remeber time does not exist, it just is an instrument to prevenet everything from happeneing at once, so go ahead and post that sufi thingy
Ahhhhhhhh....Regression....thats my concept.Ur not suppossed to use these terms...
The Sufi post would soon find its presence on my blog, rest assured !
A wonderful poetry Ma'am but i don't have the patience to read all poems but you have really great creativity
great Ma'am just unmatched creativity ad unconventional thinking about love
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